A lesson about candor and kindness from David Greybeard the chimpanzee

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My family and I enjoy watching a couple of MasterClass lessons after dinner on weekday evenings. We’re currently going through Walter Moseley’s writing and Jane Goodall’s conservation courses. These two each have a passion for their craft that is both intoxicating and illuminating.

I’ll spare you the Google search and just give you the Wikipedia intro to Jane Goodall. She is considered the world's foremost expert on chimpanzees and is best known for her 60-year study of their social and family interactions in the wild.

One of her earliest encounters was with a chimp she named David Greybeard. It’s one of her many stories that has blown my mind wide open. This one was so powerful in fact, that it instantaneously raised my expectations of myself and all human society.

She was following David Greybeard through the forest when she entered a clearing and found him sitting. It was like he was waiting for her to catch up. She picked up a nut that she knew was part of their diet. Then, she slowly stretched out her arm towards him and opened her hand.

David looked at her but then turned his head away. He was not too keen on the offering.

But Jane inched her way towards him and gently tried one more time. Now the chimp came closer. He took the nut and dropped it on the ground. He really didn’t want the nut. And then something amazing took place.

He placed his hand over hers and gave it a squeeze.

Jane had seen this behavior many times while studying chimp societies and knew exactly what it meant. It was a sign of reassurance. She truly communicated with the animal. That alone would be astonishing, but the nature of the communication is what takes my breath away.

He wasn’t in the mood to eat the nut. But he understood that her intentions were good! And he wanted her to know that he knew! He wanted to reassure her.

This isn’t fantasy, fiction or a scene from beauty and the beast. This is a real-life woman experiencing deep, complex and emotional communication with an animal. An interaction filled with empathy, understanding and meaning.

I hope you can see now why this instantaneously raised my expectations of myself and all human society. If not, allow me to spell it out…

David Greybeard – a chimpanzee – was able to draw a personal boundary and say no to something he did not want at the time. He not only asserted himself, but he did so with grace. He acted with empathy and understanding. He was not merely assertive but constructive.

If a chimp can behave with candor and kindness, then surely, so can we?

I mentioned in yesterday’s article that the top performers in my department usually get along reasonably with their colleagues. I think it’s time we expect that to be the norm, not the exception.