Focusing on people’s triumphs while ignoring their hidden challenges is dangerous

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We watched Titanic with our daughters this weekend. It reminded me that although beautiful, icebergs are dangerous because of what is hidden beneath the water.

Hugh Jackman was on The Tim Ferris Podcast this week. He told Tim he was nervous to come on and confessed he’s got a habitual thought pattern telling him "You’re not *that* good."

We see Wolverine, the tip of the iceberg. But he lives with the weight of what we don’t see. And he is not alone. World class athletes get nervous and business people lay awake at night worrying.

AB de Villiers was arguably the most innovative and audacious attacking batsman of his era. He admits he was afraid of failing every single time he went out to bat.

We are blissfully unaware of successful people’s struggles. This can be dangerous. We are scared, we are nervous or we feel like we are not good enough. And then we disqualify ourselves before we’ve begun.

We see someone standing triumphantly on the podium or holding up the Oscar. But that’s only 1% of their reality. It’s the tip of their iceberg.

The 10 years I spent as a counselor taught me one thing: Everyone has issues. Everyone has stuff beneath the surface. Everyone.

If Wolverine struggles with chronic self doubt, maybe we can live with our own?