Give me a break

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I’ve recently started feeling very odd during the workday. It's not that I haven’t enjoyed my work. And it's not that I’ve been feeling sick or anything. Just not quite on top of my game. I’ve allowed my inbox to get more out of control than usual. I normally keep my camera on during smaller meetings. But that has felt like an effort lately. More and more I’ve kept my camera off. It’s almost like something in me wants to hide from the world.

Looking at my calendar now, I realize that we are already in the 10th week of the year. That can’t be right. But it is. Time flies when you’re having fun. Or when you are in a pandemic, working remotely. At work, we were shocked a week ago by the loss of a dear colleague. Many people’s minds immediately went to COVID. But this person did not die from COVID. I think that’s a reality we are still all kind of getting to grips with. COVID did not replace all our previous challenges, it has for the most part simply added to them.

On top of the pandemic, and work, and normal family life I was also involved in a car accident on the highway recently. That meant spending several hours on the phone with insurers, at panel beaters and the police station. My daughter is changing schools and then this week I noticed a lump next to my right knee. It gave me quite a fright. I have a rule that I try to immediately have these kinds of things checked out. My doctor sent me for sonar and the radiologists say it looks like a benign meniscal cyst.

But this is not an attempt at a diary entry. The above just illustrates that everyone has exciting, scary, and sad things happening in their lives all the time. All this is in addition to work and over and above our collective problems like the pandemic. That brings me to the two things I just want to highlight today: Compassion for self and others.

When you notice yourself getting tired, stressed or worried, hopefully you pause and realize that other people also go through these things. No-one can be on top of their game all the time. For every mountain top there is a valley. Your spouse or partner will have ups and downs. Just like you. Your kids will go through stuff, just like you. And yes, your colleagues are real people and at any given time they are typically dealing with a bunch of non-work things that may surprise you. We are all in this together.

And let’s not forget to cut ourselves some slack too. It's okay to get tired. It's okay to have feelings. And for goodness sake, it's okay to take a break. I arranged with my colleagues to take some personal time today and tomorrow. I want to be there to help my daughter settle into her new online school. I want to take them to tennis. I want to run a couple of errands for my wife or maybe even take her for lunch. Sometimes the best way to get out of a rut is not to try harder to be better, but to relax and catch your breath and start again.