What a 12 year old girl can teach us about failure and regret
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This is the inspiring story of how my daughter overcame fear to try something daunting. Her story can teach us a lot about the difference between failing once versus never trying and living with regret.
My daughter wanted to audition for her school’s production of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. The only problem was she‘d never done an audition and it was daunting.
We discussed her dilemma. I’m careful not to pressure my kids into doing things that result in net-trauma for very little benefit. On the other hand, she badly wanted to try. So we talked about a principle described beautifully by James Clear:
Most failures are one-time costs.
Most regrets are recurring costs.
She realized that even bombing the audition would only produce short term pain. Not getting the part would hurt for a while. But the experience? Nobody could ever take that from her.
What if she didn’t audition this time? And the next time? And the next? She could blink and graduate from school with a bunch of “what if’s” in the back of her mind.
So she went for it! I’m proud of her, not just for being courageous and overcoming her fear, but for the way she put genuine thought into the situation and allowed her principles to guide her.
Her audition went well and she got a call-back. She didn’t land the role, but she did cast a vote for the kind of person she wants to be: A brave girl who lives without regrets. A girl who knows that you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.
We discussed her dilemma. I’m careful not to pressure my kids into doing things that result in net-trauma for very little benefit. On the other hand, she badly wanted to try. So we talked about a principle described beautifully by James Clear:
Most failures are one-time costs.
Most regrets are recurring costs.
She realized that even bombing the audition would only produce short term pain. Not getting the part would hurt for a while. But the experience? Nobody could ever take that from her.
What if she didn’t audition this time? And the next time? And the next? She could blink and graduate from school with a bunch of “what if’s” in the back of her mind.
So she went for it! I’m proud of her, not just for being courageous and overcoming her fear, but for the way she put genuine thought into the situation and allowed her principles to guide her.
Her audition went well and she got a call-back. She didn’t land the role, but she did cast a vote for the kind of person she wants to be: A brave girl who lives without regrets. A girl who knows that you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.